You’re familiar with the universal list: he’s married, she’s a gold digger, a 16-page criminal record or any outstanding warrants, gang affiliations (if he only wears red, that might be your first clue), addictions, multiple kids with multiple people (and when I say multiple, I mean like — eight), when you wake up the next morning with anything itching or burning, the phrase “I’m allergic to condoms,” controlling behavior, excessive jealousy or aggression, violent behavior, or when a person mistreats their parents. Most people are already familiar with these red flags and avoid them like the plague and if they don’t, well — that’s a whole other article. ” Losers — we all know them and (hopefully) can spot them pretty quickly.So, in the spirit of helping others maneuver through the proverbial mine field of dating and relationships, I have put together a list of some of the more subtle red flags from my own experiences (both personal and professional) as well as the experiences of my single friends and clients. If you see any of the following red flags, run like hell in the opposite direction! They are 45, unemployed, living at home with their parents, have no transportation (in a city where it’s necessary), have never had a bank account, and are constantly borrowing money from friends.Too many women sell themselves short by settling for a man with an attractive exterior.A man who is overly concerned with himself and his material things has no room to value you. Just because a man is good-looking, wears a shiny new suit, sports some Now and Later gators, drives a shiny new car, and profiles a new Rolex on his wrist does not mean he is a good man.As a matter of fact, that’s usually the joker who can’t rub two nickels together.
My ex boyfriend proceeded to see me every day for the first 30 days of our relationship. I remember him asking me if I felt smothered and if he was “too much.” I’d smile and say, “nope, I’m grateful for how you’re treating me and am blessed to have found a man who gets me.” I also did say that I was concerned that he was transferring emotions from his ex onto me and that it was a bit of a whirlwind that I feared would fizzle out.But eight years into marriage, my college sweetheart walked out the door.So with a kindergartner and a preschooler in tow, I had to start over and learn to navigate the singles’ scene. For instance, there was the guy I met on online who flew out from Colorado to join me and my kids at Disneyland with his daughter for the day.RELATED: The 4 mistakes that cost this man his marriage Watch out for men who spend money frivolously.I had a woman tell me how flattered she was when her boyfriend booked her a posh hotel room, filled it from corner to corner with freshly cut roses, and had an expensive dress lying across the bed just as a surprise to show her how much he cared about her.
He quickly assured me that he just wants to love and be loved and with me it was easy, no drama, just joy and more than anything he wanted peace.