How does our family feel about adding new traditions that our loved one did not get to experience?
Are there things that are too painful to discuss at family holidays? While family members and friends may be grieving the loss of one specific individual, it is important to remember that each person’s grief journey is a unique and changing thing.
For some reason, there seems to be an acceptable shelf life—6-12 months—and then grief should be off the shelf, out of the home and permanently removed with the weekly trash service. The “grief expiration date” myth must come from people who have never experienced a close death – otherwise they would know the truth. They are hopeful that should death touch their world, it will only take 6-12 months to recover. So, until faced with the reality, it’s easier to think ‘this won’t happen to me, AND if it does it will only be bad for a finite, short amount of time and then…there’s an expiration date and it is magically all gone.’ What a wonderful world that would be.
The one year mark looms like some golden carrot over the heads of those who are grieving.
On 15 July her family were informed that human remains had been found at the house she shared with her partner. There were days he felt guilty and wished he could have done something to help his dad. If I could talk to the person who died I would ask…. At times, he forgot about his dad for a little bit and felt happy about something, like winning at Nintendo or getting his allowance money. It’s okay if you cry and it’s okay if you don’t cry. Here are some things you can do to help you express your feelings. It is widely known that men and women grieve differently and being in a relationship with someone who has lost a loved one can be particularly challenging, be it from a male or female perspective.Whether you are both grieving together or in a new relationship with someone who is grieving ’alone’ this information may help you to traverse the journey together.
Those who aren’t grieving believe it, and often those who are also believe it – this sets grieving people up for false, and ultimately disappointing, expectations.