I went round and round in my head until I was in a full panic and decided to tell a friend. "Ghosting, or suddenly disappearing from a relationship with no explanation, has become an all too common topic in my therapy practice," says relationship specialist Chamin Ajjan, M. This can cause someone to take the easy way out and just back away, rather than facing a situation head-on.
As Ajjan explains, "In an attempt to avoid an awkward situation, the ghost' not only causes the ghosted' normal pain associated with rejection but also causes additional pain related to grief, loss, and being disrespected.
After yet another day of silence, I finally texted him. He'd been posting regularly on Instagram and Twitter, and as I scrolled through his feed, my head started spinning. "You can't get a peep out of him, yet you can see that he's talking to the whole world on social media."It did suck, and I wondered: What makes a seemingly good guy go from everything to nothing? Aijan says that guys who do a 180 experience what's called cognitive dissonance—a kind of mental stress that occurs when we have two conflicting beliefs about something.
When you enter into a relationship with married men, inevitably you step into a world that can reveal a lot of joy, and yet, tear all the happiness away instantly.
And this cycle of happiness and pain repeats itself until you can’t take it anymore.
Avoidance is the main coping strategy for the discomfort associated with anxiety, and what is more anxiety-inducing than rejecting someone? "Looking back, I really loved this girl and things were perfect, but I honestly was not in a place where I could let myself fall into another relationship."For other men—and let's be honest, plenty of women—the disappearing act is a regular habit.
"I decided to go right to the source and ask guys who have gone MIA what the heck happened. "There have been many instances in which I've met someone—almost always via online dating—and had two, three, or more dates, all fine and fun, and then I just dropped off the map," says Louis, 34.
Too bad most of them are blowing a great opportunity to grab your attention, and make you want to dig deeper.