But how would their lives have turned out had they taken the time to explore the red flags that were at least partially visible?Facing pain can certainly refine us, but we don't get extra credit for walking into it, especially when it can be avoided. My hope is that many of you do move forward and make that promise for life. Some will say, "Since no one's perfect, it really doesn't matter who I chose to marry. Physical touch/intimacy should correspond with commitment. This doesn’t mean anything goes if you are engaged. What is your motivation -- power and control, gratifying your own ego, meeting a selfish need, or genuine affection? If you feel convicted of certain behaviors, stop doing them. It’s such a common thing that either you’ve heard of it or are caught up in it yourself! It is the seemingly endless habit many couples have in which they will fight and makeup on a regular basis. It makes for great movies, but what works for a 90-minute Hollywood hit is a no-go in the real world.What I mean is this: if fighting in your dating world means hitting, pushing, shoving, name calling, yelling, manipulating, or anything rude that occurs on a consistent basis then, of course, turn walk away. In bad relationships, bad things happen and will continue to happen if you let them. Wisdom always does now what brings satisfaction later.
I assume you know right and wrong when it comes to sins such as lying, stealing, and killing.
Or maybe you've been dating for quite some time now. The forces that compel you to move forward are not out to destroy you.
Perhaps you recently met someone who caught your interest, and you're hoping that with time you'll be able to discern if the relationship should move toward marriage. Even books on the subject of dating and marriage can convey a subtle expectation to keep moving forward: "Trust God," "differences are good," and "hey, nobody's perfect." All of that's true.
A wise man once told me that there were only two outcomes for dating relationships: getting married or breaking up.
“The secret,” he said, “is knowing how to handle a dating relationship so you know if the other person is worth marrying or he or she is honored in the breakup.” Unfortunately, it seems like many young singles struggle to figure out just how to handle dating–and I’m not the only one who’s noticed how weird the Christian dating scene can be.
As my friend Lindsey, married and in her thirties, recently remarked, “I’m sure glad I wasn’t much of a Christian when I started dating my husband!